My biggest enemy is me ever since day one.
Pop a 911, then pop another one.
從一開始,我就是自己最大的敵人。
吞顆小藥丸,然後再吞一顆。


「因為我無法時時刻刻控制我的大腦。我很清楚。我必須服藥來制止發病。」
911是一首關於Olanzapine(抗精神病藥物)的歌,也是醫師為Gaga開立的處方,
主要用於治療精神分裂症的陽性症狀,還有躁鬱症的躁期。

911的MV中,現實的痛苦扭曲了Gaga周圍的人事物,觸發華美的幻象。
在MV結尾的救護車上,當救護員試著讓甫回到現實的Gaga冷靜下來時,
她哭喊著:「我沒帶我的藥。(I didn't have my pills.)」
Gaga在IG貼文中仔細談到911,也是給粉絲的一封情書:

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

This short film is very personal to me, my experience with mental health and the way reality and dreams can interconnect to form heroes within us and all around us. I’d like to thank my director/filmmaker Tarsem for sharing a 25 year old idea he had with me because my life story spoke so much to him. I’d like to thank Haus of Gaga for being strong for me when I wasn’t, and the crew for making this short film safely during this pandemic without anyone getting sick. It’s been years since I felt so alive in my creativity to make together what we did with “911”. Thank you @Bloodpop for taking a leap of faith with me to produce a record that hides in nothing but the truth. Finally, thank you little monsters. I’m awake now, I can see you, I can feel you, thank you for believing in me when I was very afraid. Something that was once my real life everyday is now a film, a true story that is now the past and not the present. It’s the poetry of pain.

Lady Gaga(@ladygaga)分享的貼文 於 張貼


這個短片對我來說非常私人,這是有關我心理健康的經驗,
以及現實與夢境如何互相作用、在我們的內在外在形成了數個英雄。
我想謝謝導演Tarsem跟我分享這個他醞釀了25年的點子,
因為我的生命故事讓他頗有共鳴。
我還想謝謝Haus of Gaga團隊,在我脆弱的時候如此堅強;
謝謝拍片團隊,在疫情期間謹慎地製作這支影片,無人確診。
從有血有肉的靈感,到真的付諸行動完成911,已經過了好幾年。
謝謝Bloodpop願意全然信任我,製作一首除了真實別無他物的作品。
最後,謝謝你們我的小怪獸們。現在我很清醒,我看得到你們,也能感覺到你們。
謝謝你們在我最恐懼的時候,仍然相信著我。
這件事曾經是我每天經歷的日常,現在被拍成了影片,
一段完完全全變成了往事的真實故事。這是一首痛苦之詩。



Turnin' up emotional faders
調高情緒的平滑效果器
Keep repeating self-hating phrases
不停重複自我厭惡的字句
I have heard enough of these voices
我已經受夠了這些惡毒的聲音
Almost like I have no choice
卻不能掩耳不聽
This is biological stasis
生命的過程停滯不前
My mood's shifting to manic places
我的心情正往狂躁的階段轉移
Wish I laughed and kept the good friendships
如果我能笑得出來 留住摯友們該有多好
Watch life, here I go again
注意 症狀要再發作一次了

I can't see me cry
我看不到自己哭
Can't see me cry ever again (Ooh)
因為再也不會有想哭的感覺
I can't see me cy
我看不到自己哭
Can't see me cry, this is the end (Ooh)
我看不到自己哭 到此為止

My biggest enemy is me, pop a 911
我是自己最大的敵人 吞顆小藥丸
My biggest enemy is me, pop a 911
我是自己最大的敵人 吞顆小藥丸
My biggest enemy is me ever since day one
從一開始 我就是自己最大的敵人
Pop a 911, then pop another one
吞顆小藥丸 然後再吞一顆

Keep my dolls inside diamond boxes
把我的娃娃收在鑽石盒子
Save 'em 'til I know I'm gon' drop this
妥善保存 直到我知道我快撐不住了
Front I've built around my oasis
圍繞著我的綠洲所建立的防線
Paradise is in my hands
捧在手中的天堂
Holdin' on so tight to this status
用盡力氣堅持這個狀態 
It's not real, but I'll try to grab it
這不是真實 但我仍會試著抓住 
Keep myself in beautiful places
讓我待在如詩如畫的幻境
Paradise is in my hands
天堂就被我捧在手心

I can't see me cry
我看不到自己哭
Can't see me cry ever again (Ooh)
因為再也不會有想哭的感覺
I can't see me cry
我看不到自己哭
Can't see me cry, this is the end (Ooh)
我看不到自己哭 到此為止

My biggest enemy is me, pop a 911
我是自己最大的敵人 吞顆小藥丸
My biggest enemy is me, pop a 911
我是自己最大的敵人 吞顆小藥丸
My biggest enemy is me ever since day one
從一開始 我就是自己最大的敵人
Pop a 911, then pop another one
吞顆小藥丸 然後再吞一顆

Pop, pop another one (Ooh)
吞 再吞一顆
Pop a 911, then pop another one (Ooh)
吞顆小藥丸 然後再吞一顆

I can't see me cry
我看不到自己哭
Can't see me cry ever again (Ooh)
因為再也不會有想哭的感覺
I can't see me cy
我看不到自己哭
Can't see me cry, this is the end (Ooh)
我看不到自己哭 到此為止

Please patch the line, please patch the line
請接上線吧 請接上線吧
Need a 911, can you patch the line?
需要急救小藥丸 你能幫我接上線嗎
Please patch the line, please patch the line
請接上線吧 請接上線吧
Need a 911, can you patch the line?
需要急救小藥丸 你能幫我接上線嗎 

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